March 28th,2006

Friends, Family & Dennis O'Connor:

I was supposed to go to Denver for "Wheel Business" last week but I got 
stuck on jury duty.

Didn't think they would even put a lawyer on a jury and I know for a 
fact 
that they shouldn't.

The case was a crack dealer - member of the Bloods Street Gang (and 
I've 
always been pro-Crip so he already didn't have a chance).

Trial should have lasted 2 days tops but we had a surprise witness 
(laymen, 
you almost never have a surprise witness just show up in the middle of 
a 
trial - only in the movies) which took up a whole day of B.S.

Jury deliberation was very interesting.  I refused to be the foreman 
and let 
everyone discuss the case and figure out how to make a decision 
(meanwhile I 
was enjoying kicking back and observing the "non-legal mind" at 
work)...

...until it the discussion went into day 2 and I heard someone mention 
lunch 
plans (and it was only 10am).  I then cross-examined every "reasonable 
doubt" every juror had and about 10 minutes later we had a verdict.

See they all agreed that he was guilty as hell but they had a problem 
with 
the veracity of 3 of the 7 police who were witnesses...

...but believing the 4 "trustworthy pigs" was good enough to have all 
the 
facts in for a conviction.

My strongest observation for you trial lawyers reading this right 
now...

...if the defense lawyer keeps harping on something, over and over 
again; 
even if it isn't relevant - make sure that you've proved to the jury 
that it 
isn't relevant because the jury will "make up" reasons to make it 
relevant 
if you don't "shoot it down" properly.  Their reasoning, "it must be 
relevant because the defense kept bringing it up".

So as for Wheel of Fortune, my co-workers actually had a cute little 
prank 
all set up for my arrival (unfortunately I never arrived).  They put up 
signs all over the Colorado Convention Center, especially at the rest 
rooms 
that read "Joe Somerville's Office".

I even have a photo from the Puzzle Board (that thing with the words on 
it 
that you see on the TV) and they have "Where's Joe Somerville's Office" 
spelled out on the board.

I think I will have to keep a copy of that (if I get a jpg of it, I 
will 
share).

Good to know my "professional family" was thinking about me.

Now I'm in a weird place.  Our season is over and we're getting ready 
for 
next season/for summer vacation (which hopefully will be another great 
adventure)...

...in other words, I ain't doing sh*t!!!

Ha Ha!!!



Posted June 2005

Friends, Family & Dennis O'Connor:

The quote in the subject line is what I've been saying all day; and 
will 
continue to say for the rest of the New Zealand trip.

The Dominion Post (Wellinton, NZ's newspaper) came out with its 
article.  It 
isn't availible online so I'm having it scanned and will send it out 
either 
Friday or during the weekend.

The article (plus its photo of me with a beer in my hand singing 'Brown 
Eyed 
Girl'") has turned me into a minor folk hero in Wellington; it 
characterized 
me as the lone All Black supporter standing my ground against a 
boatload of 
Lions fans.

How silly has it become?

When I went up to Palmerton North for the rugby match yesterday, 
everyone on 
my train car knew who I was and since they were all Lions supporters, 
they 
gave my plenty of good natured ribbing.

Even more crazy, when I got to Palmerton North, outside the stadium a 
guy 
was scalping tickets and he stopped mid transaction as I walked by to 
inform 
me that, "I know yew, yer da wun in der paypers terday!!!"

Also in Palmerston North, a Maori gentlemen with his entire face 
tatooed 
Mike Tyson style walked up to me and did the traditional "pressing of 
noses 
together" that Maori Men use and a sign of great respect.  It is 
extremely 
fortunate that I read up on a little Moari culture before I got here, 
because if that tatooed faced dude had tried to press his nose up 
against 
mine before I read that stuff; I would have assumed he was trying to 
kiss 
me...

...and that ain't happening!!!

I don't have the official name of this greeting but we pressed noses 
against 
each other hard enough that I made him back away from me (ha ha); 
Maoris are 
very very macho, so you've got to push hard to get their respect.

This morning my cleaning lady told me the story about the American who 
"stood alone and won against the Barmy Army"  she heard the story on 
the 
radio (on the feckin radio!!!).

Now I don't know what the heck I could have "won" on the 3 hour ferry 
trip 
to Wellington but my "winning" something seems to be the city's vibe.

Every pub I go into at least one person grabs me and says, "yer da woon 
ferm 
der paypers!!! I saw yer in der paypers!!!"  Today two women offered 
themselves to me because I was "their hero" (of course they were ugly 
and I 
turned them down - ha ha) and another women hit on me as she told me 
about 
how she's flying off to see her boyfriend tomorrow!!!

Random people want their picture taken with me and even more random 
people 
are doing the only thing I like about this new development...

...they're buying me beer.

My buddies are tickled pink about the whole thing and whenever someone 
walks 
up to me and says , "yer da woon ferm der paypers!!!", they begin 
bowing 
down to me and making asses of themselves.

Tonight in one pub, I cursed out some little jackass for trying to talk 
shit 
to me; he later came back to appoligize, but I told his friends to take 
this 
little wanker out of my sight...(and they did - ha hs).

I might actually play a little rugby tomorrow (I doubt it since I have 
no 
cleats, but I've been invited just the same).
__________________________________________________

Previous Message:

Just a quick update.  Had a great time yesterday travelling to 
Wellington 
via bus.  I had reserved tickets on the train but my Lions Supporting 
friends convinced the very drunk "Coach Captian" (each bus has a 
manager 
that handles logistics) that I was "needed".  They had the space so at 
5:45am the bus took off for Picton.

I took his first assent and drunkenly coerced so it didn't count.  By 
the 
way the Coach Captain reminds me of the really violent guy from 
Trainspotting, the one who beat up the whole bar for fun (think his 
name was 
Bigby or something like that).  Well the next day, I got the sober 
confirmation and we were on our way.

Interesting factoid that only Pat Connoly would care about: going from 
the 
South Island to the North Island of New Zealand, you actually travel 
South 
from Picton to Wellington.

On the ride up our driver drove like a madman (we were getting tossed 
around 
on the back of the bus - like a roller coaster) and most of the time 
the 
lanes were just one lane on the side of a mountain and extremely curvy 
(sp).

We had a great laugh on the bus, just bullshitting (my buddy Kearney is 
a 
world class bullshitter - English raised but with a proud Liverpool 
Irish 
heritage and a love of the Guiness).  He brought his wife, kid, best 
friend 
and the best friend's wife with him so its a real classic family 
affair.  
The wife is scared of flying, sailing, pretty much moving faster than 
you 
legs can take you, so she's been a source of constant entertainment, 
his kid 
is 12 and a soccer player who is always up to something; the best 
friend is 
funny as heck...when you can understand his accent.

The New Zealand country side is beautiful (Lord of the Rings was filmed 
here) and unusual because the mountains come right up to the ocean.  
There 
was a time when we were speeding between mountains and 2 seconds later 
we 
were speeding along the beach.  Most of New Zealand is mountainous 
(from 
what I've seen) with cities and towns carved out where ever the land is 
flat.  We saw a bunch of Seals on the beach and had Crawfish for 
"brunch".  
Crawfish are huge like a lobster and cut in half with a big knife and 
eaten 
like Lobster tails (pretty good stuff but hard to get over the whole - 
looks 
like a giant insect thing).

On board the Ferry in Picton (a 3 hour boat ride); we may have had a 
few 
beers which head to a massive sing-a-long in the Ferry Bar (Brown Eyed 
Girl, 
Motown, and Irish folk songs, etc.).  About 40 of us just having a 
great 
time.  There were reporters on the bus and we were both filmed and 
photographed as well as your's truly giving an interview at length (ha 
ha).  
I really poured on the "this is what rugby is all about" sound bites; 
"give" 
the media what they want (ha ha).  I think the paper is the Dominion 
Post in 
Wellington; I'll have to pick it up and see if we made the cut for the 
"Lions Are Coming" headlines.

From what I've seen of Wellington, its a bit more cosmopolitan (sp) 
than 
Christchurch; meaning the women have discovered shampoo and makeup here 
- 
which makes the Wellington girls a major improvement on the 
Christchurch 
girls.  Wellington is a college town and its city center is very 
commercialized - It could be in downtown of any major college town in 
the 
USA - but it has a special character because it is a coastal town that 
barely has room for itself because the mountains are only about 10 
blocks 
away from the coast.  So what little city they could squeeze in, is in 
the 
flat part and houses populate the surrounding mountains like the 
Hollywood 
Hills on steriods.

There's a match today in North Palmerstown, about two hours away.  I 
think I 
have a deal on tickets and transport (the Coach Captain is working on 
it, 
he's a good fella); if so I have a busy day ahead of me.

Anyway, take care everyone...

-jcs

PS: In my dreams last night/this morning, everyone had a New Zealand or 
Brit 
accent (ha ha)




___________________________________________________
Previous Message:

Well Saturday started with freezing temperatures, then the rain came 
down in 
buckets and if freezing temps and tons of rain weren't enough...a full 
blown 
hailstorm came down in the middle of the second half!!!

It was a beautiful day for rugby!!!

The All Blacks put thier foot so far up England and the Pips' asses; 
surgery 
is scheduled for early this afternoon.

The stadium was filled with obnoxious England supporters (they call 
themselves Barmys Army) half of whom just seem to have come halfway 
around 
the world just to get drunk and hurl insults for a couple of hours.  
The 
other half of them are true rugby fans who play and enjoy the whole 
spectacle (and encourage the other half to get drunker and hurl more 
insults).

Since I was sitting in the middle of the bunch of them (me and on other 
local fella who was even bigger than me) you can imagine the 
opportunities 
for witty conversation.

Of course as the scoreboard changed their insults switched 
targets...which 
means that many of them came halfway around the world to get drunk and 
hurl 
insults at guys they could have insulted locally all year.

Now the Barmy Army is the prefer opponent for the Kiwis because the 
people 
of New Zealand have a sort of relationship with the English which makes 
beating them in anything feel like the Servant getting to punch the 
Master 
in the face...

...in front of a worldwide audience.

The Big Kiwi and I laughed as with 10 minutes left the entire rows in 
front 
of us and behind us emptied and only a couple of older gentlemen in our 
row 
remained...I bet the hailstorm, freezing rain and general pain of 
losing 
were a great combination last night...it definitely put a gag on a few 
thousand mouths.

The Barmy Army has a chant "Lions, Lions, Lions" that sounds like a 
loud 
siren when they all do it at the same time.  Well that certain group of 
them 
I mentioned earlier tend to do the chant at inappropriate times...like 
during the host nation's national anthem.  They also did the chant in 
Australia during "Waltzing Matilda" which is just plain 
disrespectful...

...but not as disrespectful as doing it during the HAKA.

So it was nice payback in the end that the All Black supporters ushered 
the 
Barmy Army out of the stadium with their own chant, slightly altered 
to..."All Blacks, All Blacks, All Blacks!!!"

I've done my laundry and I'm getting ready to leave Christchurch early 
in 
the morning tomorrow; just wanted to let you know how it went.

It went awesome!!!

I'm off to Wellington next...

...but if you're ever in Christchurch remember to have a steak at 
Sophie's.

-jcs

__________________________________________________
Previous Message:

Friends, Family & Dennis O'Connor:

Today I successfully complete the "mostly" sober half of my vacation.  
Starting today in a few hours sobriety will no longer be an option.

Those of you not in the loop, I'm following "The British and Irish 
Lions" as 
they take on the Mighty New Zealand All Blacks in rugby's ultimate 
touring 
competition.  The Lions have assembled an All Star team of the best 
that 
England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales have to offer and they are 
throwing 
them in against the greatest rugby nation of them all and I'm here to 
witness the first and second matches of the best 2 out of 3 series.

Today is when the majority of the Lions supporters are to hit town 
(which is 
why I'm getting this message out before I voluntarily lose my 
sobriety).  
There is an estimate that as many as 30,000 fans will hit Christchurch 
in 
the next 24 hours.  Since I believe the population of Los Angeles is 
bigger 
than the entire population of the country New Zealand, it should make 
for an 
interesting spectacle.

I went on the Lions tour to Australia 4 years ago and it seemed like 
Melbourne was completely over run by Lions fans (all dressed in red and 
ready to party) but Sydney held its own.  I don't think Christchurch is 
nearly the size of Melbourne so this should be interesting.

I don't have any great adventures to report.  New Zealand food is 
similar to 
English food, only better (more meat, better meat, not as bland) and 
they 
also have the Asian/Indian stuff, cheap and of course with more meat 
than 
you'd get in Asia (Kiwis are carnivores, like me!!!)

New Zealand chicks are kind of similar to rural Pennsylvania chicks, 
big 
shoulders not very feminine (sp) and even the cute ones are pretty 
rough 
around the edges (of course coming from Los Angeles few places will be 
able 
to compete).  One thing most of them are is nice and loquacious (sp) 
they 
aren't shy.  More chicks you want at the bar with you drinking; "one of 
the 
fellas" types.

I've already gotten a taste of the English fans, stuffy, average age of 
55; 
walking around with thier hands behind their backs, generally 
disapproving 
of whatever they see.  The Scots and Welsh tend to blend into the 
background 
with the younger England fans (glazed smiles, just happy to be here)...

...and then there's the Irish...

...average age 25, in love with every person they come into contact 
with and 
not necessarily drunk (yet).  They really are the best people those 
European 
Islands have produced.  I've already had some great informative, 
intelligent 
rugby conversations with the English and got great advice of where to 
party 
from the Irish.

Yesterday I went to a rugby match that featured Andrew Mertens (the Joe 
Montana of Christchurch, which make Dan Carter - Steve Young) in his 
final 
game before moving off to the UK.  It was great (they won easily) and 
sad at 
the same time.

Its very strange that all my rugby heroes are actually younger than I 
am 
(Lomu, Kronfeld, Mertens, Greg Somerville, Cullen, Umaga, etc.)  At the 
end 
of the match Mertens took a quick jog around the field waving at the 
fans 
and at the end of the jog faked as though he pulled a hammie; so even 
on his 
last day he was "the joker".

The beer at the stadium sucked (DB Draught) but they had the best meat 
pies 
I've ever tasted (they actually had meat in them which beats Hong Kong 
and 
Warrington, England already).  I haven't discovered anything about the 
beer 
here worth dancing over, I forget the brand (starts with an M) but they 
have 
one beer that comes in several styles including Black (near Guinness 
but 
better) and a Lemon/Lime version that tastes like Sprite.  I've mainly 
tried 
a local beer first and then finished with a Stienlager (its Kiwi too, 
but 
tastes like home).

Belmont people copied, I flew to Auckland with Lee P. and his wife and 
child...never really spoke with him before but he's a really really 
nice kid 
(he promises to bring back a flyhalf next year - ha ha).

Its pretty cold here, which is a shame since I won't be able to show 
off my 
cool and shit Green Lions Training Jersey at night.  I've already been 
the 
envy of all because you can't find them anywhere in Christchurch (and 
trust 
me these people are selling at least 6 different kinds of Lions jerseys 
alone - merchandizing for this tour is crazy out of control)...I've got 
Keith Wood's name and number on the back - which has already earned a 
few 
free beers from Irish fans (12 more and it will have paid for itself - 
ha 
ha).

One minor adventure was that myself and another American (a basketball 
player, playing pro in NZ) wandered into Sophie's a local restaurant 
chain 
and the owner was there and had us "brothas" take pictures with her for 
her 
wall (caption, "Sophie likes her men...All Black")- so I may be right 
up 
there with my All Black heroes soon (ha ha)...Sophie's' serves a steak 
with 
bacon and eggs on top of it - good good stuff.  She's a youngish, plump 
Maori chick who is half entrepreneur (sp) half stand up comedienne and 
all 
her ads and signs are filled with sex jokes and general silliness - not 
too 
P.C. sort of like me.

Okay well that's it for now, I'm rooting for the All Blacks to stomp 
the 
Lions!!!

On Saturday I will be living one of my dreams when I get to see the New 
Zealand All Blacks do the Haka on their home soil!!!

Maybe then, I'll finally be over this silly rugby stuff (well maybe 
after 
Summer Sevens - ha ha)

Life is good, people, Life is good!!!


HOME,William and Mary Rugby Alumni